I’m Preventing Revolution

Another confession.  Maybe I spoiled it with the headline.

Yeah, I’ve pretty much reached the conclusion that I lack balance on the delicate seesaw of Skepticism vs. Enthusiasm.  That’s right…  I feed Skepticism like a glutton, and it’s become overweight – the seesaw is a bit “unbalanced”.  It’s no fun for poor Enthusiasm, suspended in the air, her legs dangling, hoping her feet will touch the ground again.  Hmmm…  maybe I reached a bit too far for that analogy.

I guess now I’ve got to explain.  

…

Wow, that sounded bitter.

I love church.  But I think “church” means something different to me than it does to other people.  I’ll admit – maybe I’m guilty of believing my perspective is better than most people’s.  I love it when people share Christ, which I believe they’re doing when they cook together, listen to each other’s hurts, pray together, share their possessions, etc.  I think this is church…  and it doesn’t just happen on Sunday mornings.

Luckily, I serve at a church that holds almost all the same values and opinions on church/biblical community that I hold.  The slogan is “life change happens in small groups”.  They champion the cause of the home gathering.  They insist and insist that our Sunday gatherings will feel disjointed and impersonal for an attender if they’re not involved in a small group, and I completely agree.

How fortunate that I share the same values…  or do I?

I know the hearts of the leaders at our church.  I see their sincere desire for people to experience the kind of community we see in Acts chapter 2.  But sometimes I wonder if other people are seeing the “small group” as just another standardized, subsidized institution of the church – or as the genuine, communal, independent gathering that it is.  

And then I realize something.

I’m the one guilty of the misconceptions.  I’m the one that subscribes to the “Sunday morning is all church is” mentality, however indirectly.  I live like there’s a reality present that conflicts with my ideal reality, and it leaks over into my passions.  It squelches them.  Though I say church is happening all week long, I’m not living in celebration of that reality, nor am I thriving in it like I should be.  So the question is, “do I really believe it?”

This also happens to affect my vision for what God’s called me to do at our church.  Issues like this will invade my psyche, and they’ll become the filter through which I’m running potential opportunities for passion and enthusiasm.  Perhaps I’ve not been able to see the forest for the trees.  I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said, “every problem is an opportunity in disguise.”  The quote I’ve actually been living is, “I have the answer for every problem, but I just don’t have the power to effect the widespread change I want to see.”

I think I’m seeing that God fills my mind with these thoughts not to give me a jaded position on the state of the “church” and my “calling”, but to subtly remind me that my father was a wandering Aramean.  In other words, to remind myself – just as the ancient Jews were instructed – that I’m not to feel freed from God’s prophetic refining process in my life.  I come from a long line of imperfection, and the first person under the microscope should always be me.  It’s also a cause for celebration – that God’s brought me a long way in my life, but I need constant reminders that I’m not as far ahead of the curve as I sometimes give myself credit for.  

Passion comes from the Greek word pathos, which means suffering.  If I’m going to suffer anything, may it be in heeding God’s correction…  and not the pain of living in a manner that’s separate from His dream.  So maybe I could say it this way – refining myself to be aligned with His heart is steadily becoming my passion.

Friends, here’s the apology:  I realize that a movement or a revolution starts with the determined, passionate vision of at least a few people.  As someone chosen to serve the church through music, I’m sincerely sorry for impeding the revolution God dreams of for our community.

So here I stand, united in spirit with my brothers and sisters; I judge myself first, and other people or situations last.  I pull logs out of my own eye, leaving the specks in others’ eyes for last… or leaving them to God.

May we all, in humility and passion, prepare the way for our Risen Lord.  Grace and Peace.  

-jc

Humbled

This will be a short blog entry.

I’ve come face to face with the reality of how precious this leather-bound bible should be to me.  It’s blind-sided me.  I’ll admit…  I cry about it regularly.

The idea that our predecessors went through such rigorously pure, laborious measures to make sure these holy words were preserved – that floors me, and really makes me turn a sober eye to the man in the mirror.  ”Passion” has become a word that embodies a movement of college students firmly resolute to bring God the worship He deserves.  It’s a beautiful thing…  but the word “passion” itself has become somewhat fashionable.  Maybe trendy.

I’ll tell you this.  I know of no passion that can rival that of those wonderfully reverent people who have preserved our scriptures.  Woe is me that God’s name passes my lips so casually.  These folks went and washed themselves every time they wrote God’s name…  they were hesitant to even speak it.  That is passion.

I am undone by this.  But thank you God.  This word that has such value – it’s your Word to me.  Incredible.  I have no clue what to say.

-jc

Gaze of the Critical Eye

I have a confession to make.  If you are a regular attender of West Ridge Church, I’ve projected a character trait onto you that you don’t entirely deserve.  Ready?

I’ve decided you are hyper critical.

It’s true…  we get complaints sometimes about our worship atmosphere.  Happens a lot, actually.  But I know that on my end, I’m feeling a pressure to perform that doesn’t come from the vast majority of you…  It comes from me.  I’ve decided the only way to free you from distraction is to perform with absolute perfection.  It can create real stress for me, and it’s pointless.  I owe you more respect than to stress myself out trying to lay it all out perfectly for you.  You don’t need hand outs from me.  You are fully capable of worshipping, even if the leadership coming from me is imperfect.

So I’m sorry.  Grace and Peace.  -jc